Best Physical Feature

I’m not overly sure on this one. I’m not really a fan of myself; I struggle to see what anyone else sees. Looking in the mirror doesn’t give me a lot in return. I spent a lot of my childhood being mocked about the colour of my hair, or something about my being – even friends would have a bash. Even my Mum once told me that she asked the nurses if I was hers due to the colour of my hair…

My Grandfather on my Dad’s side made it very clear I was the wrong gender.

I have never felt beautiful or pretty, yet my new husband tells me at least once a day that I am.

I have learned to love my hair after years of dying it black, I eventually had the colour cut out and went natural, although I have had reds added to enhance it about a year ago. I really love that my children have the colour.

I often imagine myself as a bit of a laughing stock when people see me, no confidence in myself, I really do have very low self-esteem, I try to tackle it, but nothing really works. I just see ugliness. I hate feeling this way.

So if I were to really think, my Best Physical Feature would be my breasts…not the look of them!

But what they have done over the years, feeding my beautiful babies, from as little as nine days to three plus, expressing under extreme circumstances, one way or another I have managed to feed them. I was continually told during my first pregnancy that because no one else in my family breast fed, I wouldn’t be able to either, without the support professionally and personally my journey with her lasted nine days. My son was two years but included top ups of formula, because I was told he needed it.

When I our premature baby was born at 26+6, I was determined to give her the best start I possibly could, as her feeds upped she would be topped up with formula, which I found mentally difficult. I was pleased that for the five weeks we had her I was able to express at least some of her feeds.

My next two babies took to breastfeeding with ease, one went to just after three years old, and the other is still going strong at just over two years old. Just recently our four year old was really poorly, getting dehydrated and we weren’t getting the best advice, so I expressed within 24 hours she was finally feeling better.

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So that’s why I feel my best physical features are my breasts. They have Super Powers.

The Red Head Diaries

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